The Five Year Plan.....Or Four???

4/19/13

Surprise!  That was an understatement for your dad when I woke him up at 4:50 am to see if he saw what I did on the pregnancy test strip.  I had a feeling I was pregnant two weeks prior, even buying maternity pants at Old Navy (they were $4).  I told your dad I thought I was pregnant, but he said I was crazy.  He had heard the “I Feel Pregnant” story before.  I don’t blame him, but this time was different.  I had all the “signs.”  The time finally came to take a test….and all four tests were negative.  Yes I was crazy, and I spent way too much money on pregnancy tests, but I HAD to find out.  After all four tests (taken over four days) came back negative, I resolved to face the fact that I was not pregnant.  Your dad and I weren’t really trying, but we weren’t not trying either.  I had been off the pill for a month.  We were thinking we would get pregnant in about 6 months, making it September, and have you by June when we would celebrate our 5^th anniversary.  Your dad is a planner.  We were on the “five year plan.”  Well, now we’re following the 4 ½ year plan- and that is ok. 

So this morning before work, following the advice of my co-workers, I took another test.  It’s been about four days since the last one.  I expected a negative.  After two minutes, I looked over at the test strip, and there were two lines!  (One line is negative, two is positive)  It was so faint (and it was 4:50 am), that I kept looking back and forth at it, squinting my eyes hard to help focus, and didn’t believe that I was seeing both lines.  I ran into the bedroom, turned on the light, and shoved the stick in front of your dad’s face and excitedly (and maybe a little to loud for 4:50 am) said, “Do you see what I see?  Do you see two lines?”  I guess you could say your dad was a little confused as to what I was doing.  I handed him the test (the pee end.  Oops!), continuing my excited talking while he did the “squint eye-it’s so early-my wife is crazy” look.  He said he maybe saw two lines, and asked me if it was a test from Aldi.  He has this thing with Aldi and their non food items.  Of course it wasn’t from Aldi, but instead of screaming that at him I said I would take another one later and sorry for waking him up. 

I took another test at work (a patient one we are!).  It read two lines.  You would think I would be happy, but instead I was the crabbiest person ever at work.  I got into an argument with a doctor’s nurse over suppositories and told a patient he needed to stop drinking and taking narcotics because he was killing his liver.  I might have also mentioned that I have seen other patients his age with live disease and he was going to die a horrible death if his current lifestyle continued.  After the patient was discharged, I marched into the conference room and declared to all the other nurses how mean that patient was and then I started crying.  That sealed the deal for me.  I had to be pregnant.

Tonight we went out to eat with our fellow band mates.  I met everyone after work.  The wives asked if we had any news to tell.  I was screaming the news in my head, but decided to leave it in there since technically your dad didn’t know about the second test.  Your dad and I talked on the phone on the way home (we were in separate cars).  I told him about the second test, and he became silent.  Like, very silent.  He didn’t believe in the test and needed more proof.  It’s not that he didn’t want us to be pregnant- he just wasn’t expecting it to come this soon.  He wondered where we went from here, he didn’t believe the tests were completely accurate, and at one point I think he asked me where you would live.

I love your father and how he reacts to things unplanned.  Tomorrow I’m going to get a digital test that reads loud and clear that I’m pregnant so that your dad has “proof” that I’m pregnant.